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Delirium (di lir` iem) n. a condition of the mind, as during insanity, in which one is restless and keeps thinking and talking wildly.
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February 14, 2001

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre

No, not that massacre, the one that's about to happen in my hometown. I absolutely detest Valentine's Day. I can say this with conviction because I even hate it when I am dating someone. I'm not a chick who hates things just because she feels left out. I've always hated this stupid Mockliday and I always will. So no, you idiots who are all in "love" and accuse me of bitterness, I'm not. The whole idea behind this commercial holiday sucks the love right out of it anyway. Take the gifts for example. A friend gave me flowers today as a token of his affection or whatever the hell he said (I think he was drunk &#60;g&#62;). Give me a break! Flowers?? Who actually likes to get flowers? What do flowers say except "Doh, lookie at me! I'm dumb enough to spend $30 on something that will live for 2 days just to impress someone. She's not that smart and will be blown away just 'cause I flash something pretty in her face." Just buy me a potted plant for $5 at the local nursery and call it day! This is just the beginning of the pointless paraphernalia.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. I gladly took the flowers, hugged the friend and acted like it was a great gift (all the while feeling the nausea congeal in the pit of my stomach). I guess it's nice of him to give me a "poor boyfriendless girl" gift. However, I just don't get the point. Yes, flowers are beautiful and they look nice in a vase sitting on the coffee table. I'll give you that. However, I would rather have something more permanent that's actually worth the price you pay for it. The guy who thought up selling cut flowers is a genius. He probably saw a field of daisies, thought "These are going to be dead soon anyway, surely some idiot will buy them for $5!" and got rich off of morons who think anything pretty should be destroyed and taken into your house. Here's a clue, go outside and see flowers in their natural habitat. They are much more beautiful.

And then there's chocolates. I once had a boyfriend buy me this huge 3 lb box of chocolates on the dreaded day. Ummm, hello? Are you saying you want me to weigh 300 lbs? Perhaps you want me to eat the whole damn box, go into a depression and then refuse to eat for months. Hey, maybe I can go into a vomiting fit from food guilt! Generally, I try to watch what I eat. I also tend to get sick if I eat a lot of sweets. I do not need 3 lbs of chocolate tempting me. Maybe a small box would be nice. However, guys should really think before they buy their girlfriends chocolate. It only takes about 1300 extra calories to add on a pound if you live an active lifestyle (which means you don't sit at your computer all day. It takes far less calories if you just sit around). Do you even want to think about many calories are in a 3 lb box of chocolates? (one pound of Dove chocolate has about 1500 calories..that's without nuts and cream fillings). Luckily for me, he ate most of it himself. What a gem he was.

The entire point of the holiday is just stupid (well, not to Hallmark, FTD, Hershey and the like. I can see why they love Valentine's Day). It's just an excuse to get presents and when I'm with a guy I don't want to have a million excuses to get presents. Christmas was just a few months ago, can't you greedy folks hold off for a while?

It's also an excuse to make empty sentiments common place. "Be my Valentine." "I love you." "I want to proclaim our love to the world!" Get over it. If you really loved the person, Valentine's Day wouldn't be a big deal. Everyday would be Valentine's Day. People who make a enormous deal out of it, to me, are obviously lacking something in their relationships. People who run to Wal-Mart at the last minute to get whatever cheap candy and stuffed toy they can find are really lacking something. If you are going to celebrate, give it a little more effort at least! The sentiment is really destroyed when you just grab whatever piece of junk is on top of the bargain bin.

I guess that's enough of my "bitterness" and "hate". On a positive note, my mom got me a Microsoft Intelimouse with the optical sensor for Valentine's day. These things rock! Much better than a stupid bouquet of flowers. This doesn't change my convictions though. I still hate this mockliday.

Posted by vixen at February 14, 2001 08:02 AM

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