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Anti-Bobby Flay Ring

Delirium (di lir` iem) n. a condition of the mind, as during insanity, in which one is restless and keeps thinking and talking wildly.
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February 22, 2001

Online Rating Systems

Personally, I've always hated those on-line ratings systems (like the top 10 porn sites or whatever). Granted, it's a good place to find great porn. They are basically like the Grammys, people are rewarded for big breasts and not content (in a metaphorical sense of course). However, some people take them very (too) seriously. Take your old-fashioned Warez webmaster. He probably sits (or has a script to) and votes for his site every 5 seconds. Really folks, is it worth that much time and effort? Do you really want to let the world know you take yourself that seriously? Personally, I think only an idiot would put so much stock into something that is basically a contest of who has the most IP addresses. Still, it's nice when you're on top, no matter who can't resist the urge to stay ahead of you.

Posted by vixen at 07:23 AM | Comments (0)

February 20, 2001

AOL Must Die

I hate AOLers (no offense to any of you surfing on AOL. I'm sure I would hate you too. However, since I don't know you, I don't want to judge.). I think anyone who signs up for AOL should immedietly be killed. "Dat wud B a gud weigh 2 kep dis kind a nu-b speek frm gettin' 2 me." AOLers are the scum of the web.
I guess not all AOLers are bad, but why does every net newbie in the United States sign up? I'll tell you why. It's easy. The net has been dumbed down to a moron level and people like that. People proudly flaunt their moroninity around the www like a badge. "Lookie here, I'm too dumb to use a real dial-up account so I'll brag about all the 'services' AOL has that nobody else has." I hate to break it to you buddy, but AOL doesn't have anything you can't find on the real Internet if you looked. Even their tech support admits it. A paraphrased conversation from the last time I used AOL:

"Hello, this [tech]. How can I help you today?"
"I'd like to cancel my account. There is no dialup number in my area."
"That' not a problem! We'll just send you a list of free isps and instructions on how to use AOL with those ISPs."
[plays dumb]"So AOL would be free then?"
"No, you'd have to pay a minimal fee"
"Oh. I thought free Internet was free?"
"It is, but you have to pay for AOL services."
"Do I need AOL services to surf the web?"
"No, but we offer many great things like secure shopping, AOL buddy lists, chat and community features!"
"So AOL IM won't work on a free ISP?"
"It will."
"Oh, so what you're saying is my credit card won't cover theft on a free ISP!"
"No, it will, but AOL offers more security. We pay 100% if your card is...."
"So does my Credit. Can't I use mIRC on a free ISP and chat?"
"Yes, you could. But AOL chats are better."
"Every time I've been in one, it's just been 12 year old girls. I have interesting discussions on mIRC and there are lot of communities on the web with forums and all. I like those. Is AOL really better than all that?"
"So, what was your screen name. I'll put in the cancelation order."

It's sad when even the tech admits AOL has nothing to offer. I think AOL is harmful on a whole because newbies get set in their ways, never try to better themsevles and make themselves a contributing member of the web. They just content themselves with AOL chat and newbie speak and never look to anything else.

Oh well, long live the 'netidiot. I know "Y R U SEW MEEN VUXEN! EYE H8 U! U SUK!". Throw your modem in the toaster oven. I hear the AOL tech support staff says that will speed it up!

Posted by vixen at 07:59 AM | Comments (3)

February 15, 2001

Napster is [Almost] Dead

Ding dong, the file sharing protocol is dead. The days of getting free MP3s from Napster might be over soon. Waaa. I love Napster. It's not because I like pirated music (although, I do like previewing CDs as much as the next gal). It's because I like to have music on my computer and I'm too lazy to make my own MP3s. I have about 30 MP3s on my computer now that I got from Napster. I probably have the cds that 20 of them came off from. I just want to listen to random mixes while browsing rather than a whole cd (there aren't many cds I can listen too all the way through). Thank goodness for Gnutella (Newtella to be exact). Seems like they've dumbed it down which is good for everyone involved. Means more free MP3s for all. Why can't the recording industry just embrace digital music? Get over yourselves. It's not the artists who are losing out, it's the recording industry and I for one don't give a damn if they lose money.

Posted by vixen at 08:01 AM | Comments (0)

February 14, 2001

The St. Valentine's Day Massacre

No, not that massacre, the one that's about to happen in my hometown. I absolutely detest Valentine's Day. I can say this with conviction because I even hate it when I am dating someone. I'm not a chick who hates things just because she feels left out. I've always hated this stupid Mockliday and I always will. So no, you idiots who are all in "love" and accuse me of bitterness, I'm not. The whole idea behind this commercial holiday sucks the love right out of it anyway. Take the gifts for example. A friend gave me flowers today as a token of his affection or whatever the hell he said (I think he was drunk &#60;g&#62;). Give me a break! Flowers?? Who actually likes to get flowers? What do flowers say except "Doh, lookie at me! I'm dumb enough to spend $30 on something that will live for 2 days just to impress someone. She's not that smart and will be blown away just 'cause I flash something pretty in her face." Just buy me a potted plant for $5 at the local nursery and call it day! This is just the beginning of the pointless paraphernalia.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. I gladly took the flowers, hugged the friend and acted like it was a great gift (all the while feeling the nausea congeal in the pit of my stomach). I guess it's nice of him to give me a "poor boyfriendless girl" gift. However, I just don't get the point. Yes, flowers are beautiful and they look nice in a vase sitting on the coffee table. I'll give you that. However, I would rather have something more permanent that's actually worth the price you pay for it. The guy who thought up selling cut flowers is a genius. He probably saw a field of daisies, thought "These are going to be dead soon anyway, surely some idiot will buy them for $5!" and got rich off of morons who think anything pretty should be destroyed and taken into your house. Here's a clue, go outside and see flowers in their natural habitat. They are much more beautiful.

And then there's chocolates. I once had a boyfriend buy me this huge 3 lb box of chocolates on the dreaded day. Ummm, hello? Are you saying you want me to weigh 300 lbs? Perhaps you want me to eat the whole damn box, go into a depression and then refuse to eat for months. Hey, maybe I can go into a vomiting fit from food guilt! Generally, I try to watch what I eat. I also tend to get sick if I eat a lot of sweets. I do not need 3 lbs of chocolate tempting me. Maybe a small box would be nice. However, guys should really think before they buy their girlfriends chocolate. It only takes about 1300 extra calories to add on a pound if you live an active lifestyle (which means you don't sit at your computer all day. It takes far less calories if you just sit around). Do you even want to think about many calories are in a 3 lb box of chocolates? (one pound of Dove chocolate has about 1500 calories..that's without nuts and cream fillings). Luckily for me, he ate most of it himself. What a gem he was.

The entire point of the holiday is just stupid (well, not to Hallmark, FTD, Hershey and the like. I can see why they love Valentine's Day). It's just an excuse to get presents and when I'm with a guy I don't want to have a million excuses to get presents. Christmas was just a few months ago, can't you greedy folks hold off for a while?

It's also an excuse to make empty sentiments common place. "Be my Valentine." "I love you." "I want to proclaim our love to the world!" Get over it. If you really loved the person, Valentine's Day wouldn't be a big deal. Everyday would be Valentine's Day. People who make a enormous deal out of it, to me, are obviously lacking something in their relationships. People who run to Wal-Mart at the last minute to get whatever cheap candy and stuffed toy they can find are really lacking something. If you are going to celebrate, give it a little more effort at least! The sentiment is really destroyed when you just grab whatever piece of junk is on top of the bargain bin.

I guess that's enough of my "bitterness" and "hate". On a positive note, my mom got me a Microsoft Intelimouse with the optical sensor for Valentine's day. These things rock! Much better than a stupid bouquet of flowers. This doesn't change my convictions though. I still hate this mockliday.

Posted by vixen at 08:02 AM | Comments (0)

February 10, 2001

Ticket Bastard

Somehow I was appointed official "ticket getter" of 2 shows that went on sale today at 10:00. I don't want to see either of these shows, but I'm more than happy to get tickets. Through the joyful musings of Ticketmaster, I reloaded, refreshed, rebooted (their well designed website crashed my browser 3 times, my entire computer twice), called and held for a total of 2 hours (and that's just for one show). This must be why they call it "Ticketbastard". I skipped the bastards for the second show and called the venue directly, got great seats apparently (but they won't mail me the tickets which is kind of scary). What makes it more painful is that I got better seats at the show that was $49 per ticket than I did to the show that was $85. I had great seats until my browser crashed and the next three times I tried to confirm, they stuck me in the back. Oh well. Really, who wants to get that close to Billy Joel and Elton John? ICK. My mother is probably the only one. The really, really bad part is that I missed my fave episode of MST3k while fighting with their website. Oh well, time to break out my tape collection (or the Billy Joel DVD which sounds equally as fun &#60;gag&#62; ). &#60;hums "I'm a rocket powered piano man whose candle went out in the wind so I didn't start the fire" . . . or something&#62;

Posted by vixen at 08:04 AM | Comments (0)

February 08, 2001


Yeah, yeah. I have moles. Or rather, I had moles. I guess counting the 7 or so I had removed to day, I've had maybe 25 total. Why was I blessed with these ugly things anyway? And why did people insist on reminding me about them?
"What's that on your neck?"
"Are they cancerous?"
"Those things are ugly. You should get them taken off."
"Eeew. That's hideous! Can I touch one to see what it feels like?"

(And yes, I've had these all said to me at one point or another. The person that asked to touch one was denied the opportunity, personal space reasons... )

Cripes. As if I didn't know I had them? I mean, it's not as if I've ever looked in a mirror, or felt them at all. Nope, I was completely oblivious to their existance. It's basically the same as calling an obese person "fat" -- they know they are -- and unless you actually have some constructive advice, shut up.

At least they're gone now, save for some little bumps (the procedure doesn't remove them entirely in some cases). And while I normally don't like to do anything for looks, I'm glad I had them removed. They were friggin' annoying, let me tell you. Some would snag on my shirt; one on my nose would get irritated when I used a tissue, etc.

So, basically, I'm in pain now. They sting a bit. And one particular mole is being lab tested for cancer. Whee! I can't wait to find the results out; the anticipation is killing me.

{This concludes our test of the emergency dermatology alert system. Had there been an actual emergency, do you think you would have actually read this? Not likely. Chances are you would have run away while I screamed. Oh well, such is life.)

Posted by bard at 09:50 PM | Comments (2)

February 07, 2001

Battle of the Sexists

Males seem to feel some need to be condescending towards women. Why? I have no idea. Take today for example, my chemistry professor (who I had previously thought was only condescending to me because I was stupid) decided to make a sexist remark . . .

He was handing back our assignment from the last lab and he didn't have mine (the assignments were in bottles, I won't go into the boring explanation) so he hands me a new bottle and tells me to use that. A few minutes he comes out of his office with my old bottle (smaller and more slender) and hands it to me and says, "You would probably rather use this one. It's more feminine." What the hell does that even mean? I don't even know what to think about that statement. However I'm still perplexed and a bit offended by it. Does he really think that I'm some kind of prissy prima donna? Maybe he was just trying to be nice, I don't know.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into this comment (I just read an article about how little women doctors get paid compared to male doctors) but I was offended. Rather than take the issue up with him, I used the "feminine" bottle and didn't complain.

Later on, I was given a beef dinner at a Mexican place when I ordered veggie soft tacos and was talked down to by the manager who called me "darling" and "sweetheart". The only men who can call me sweetheart and not make me queasy are guys I've known forever and the geek in the hair net and greasy jeans isn't one.

I have no problems being a girl. I don't care that I'll never make as much money or get as much respect as a guy who had less education and less brains than myself just because I don't have a phallus hiding 'neath my jeans. However, I don't appreciate being talked down to by professors, who should treat people equally since we're all paying them the same thing, and food service people who I am also paying. Since I'm paying for these services, I should get the same thing Johnny Penisforbrains gets.

This is just one more thing that leads me to believe that school isn't worth going to.

Posted by vixen at 08:06 AM | Comments (0)

February 04, 2001

Dude, chill out.

Hey, father of my friend, chill. Stop treating your family like crap. Yeah. Um. Shocking developement. No, really. Yeah, I know, I was shocked to. There are such things as manners. Yeah, um... they tell you how to behave properly and stuff. Look into it. NOW.

Your son not wanting to go to a college football game is no reason to storm around, cursing and pounding things. You buy those tickets normally anyway. Take somebody else if you want.

Oh, oops, somebody forgot to take off their muddy shoes and got some mud in your house. Maybe they weren't aware they were muddy in the first place. Clean it up, or kindly ask them to clean it up. It isn't the end of the world; at least, not to normal people. Again, don't go on a rampage.

When you walk through the door, and don't like what has been prepared for dinner, either eat it anyway, or politely refuse. Do not call your wife "worthless" and tell her to "learn how to cook". Oh and, you could probably cook something too without burning down the house. Try it sometime.

When your family invites me to a movie, and I specifically say "I don't know if I should go, I've got a pretty bad cold", don't bitch the whole whopping 10 minute trip about not wanting to get sick. I told you I was ill for a reason. Besides, it's a friggin' movie theater! You are more prone to getting sick there than with me in a ten minute car ride.

There are probably more things about you that disgust me. But hey, this rant is long enough.

Posted by bard at 09:54 PM | Comments (0)

Eat This!

After watching the umpteenth special that has whiny celebs whining about eating disorders on "Lifetime" or "Dateline" or something, I want to puke. No, I haven't taken up bulimia. They just make me sick. As an eating disorder "survivor" I can say that and not be politically incorrect (or at least not care if I am or not). What is with these morons and blaming everyone else but themselves for what they've done? Take some responsibility for your own actions.
I hate people who blame the media for eating disorders. I have never once looked at a Barbie and said "I want to be just like her." and if I did, I wouldn't need to throw up my food, I'd need plastic surgery. I've never once looked through a magazine, saw a stick and said "Wow, she's hot". As a matter of fact, I've never really looked though fashion magazines at all. Whenever I've ever seen a starving child or a fashion model I've always thought they looked awful. I'm sure I'm not a rarity in the world. I'm sure most eating disorder "victims" (for lack of a better term) aren't doing it because they strive to be starvation thin. I'm also sure that any normal chick with a normal mind couldn't be persuaded to barf up her big mac just because some producer says she's gotten a little chunky.

It's something inside the person that makes them always see themselves as too fat & not good enough that always makes them want to lose more weight. It's not because of any fashion mag or bossy producer. These morons who keep blaming other people are just making these disorders seem less serious than they are: "Oh, she just wants to look like Ally McBeal. No big deal. It will pass." Instead of treating this ludicrous media problem, people should be treating the problem inside of the person themselves that doesn't depend on any outside stimulus as stupid as seeing an image on TV and wanting to emulate it. It's only when the person realizes that what they are telling themselves they see in the mirror isn't true that are able to "stop the madness".

Until then, I guess we'll all think that all eating disorder "victims" (I really hate that term) are just egotist who want to be stared at and marveled at like a celebrity. They all are just vain assholes who care more about their appearance than their health. Personally, this eating disorder victim cares nothing abut her appearance. She doesn't wear makeup - EVER. She dresses in jeans almost everyday (on occasion I wear some nice khakis or slacks, I think I've worn a dress once in the past 2 years). However, she still has a problem with the scale. No matter what it tells her, even today after she's "recovered", she still doesn't believe it. Vanity? I think not. I think it's the sign of a screwed up mind, and hey, I'm willing to admit I'm pretty screwed up! :-) However, if I had been told I was just vain all my life I doubt I'd be alive even today. Stupid celebrities. I want my own eating disorder special damnit!

Posted by vixen at 08:07 AM | Comments (0)

February 03, 2001

A Call To Chickens

So, I was just informed by my collaborator that some dingus left a comment that our lovely site here was (and I quote) "gay". I've got a few words for you, my dear gutless wonder.

First off, you must have some issues with homosexuality. Are you just in the closet and are afraid of coming out? Or are you just some homophobic prick with nothing better to do than wax off to pictures of twelve year old pre-pubescent girls? You know, you should think twice about leaving a message like that when you're probably looking up lesbian porn right now. For something that must give you so much pleasure, you sure try to make it seem like an insult.

Second of all, how ballsy was it for you to not leave an email address? Do you often go to websites, harass people without leaving a name thinking "oh boy, I've got 'em now, and they don't know who I am because I'm too chicken to leave an email address!" Do you often troll newsgroups? Do you still live at home with your parents? Do you build women out of jello molds and pretend you're making out with them when your friends call? If you answered yes to any of these questions, disconnect from the internet this moment, and seek professional help. Hell, if you answered no, I still recommend disconnecting and getting help. Btw: Where is this astouding site of your's anyway? I'm intrigued by this new and wonderful addition to the internet which you have so whole-heartedly defended by calling our site "gay"...

Lastly, I really don't give a rat's flying arse that you have a website that is going to "beat" our's. Since when were having these sites part of a large competition? Last I looked, none of us called out to any other sites saying "nyah nyah, we rock, you suck, we're going to wipe the floor with your piddley sites." Have a little bit of maturity, geez. If you have a problem with our site, there are more adult ways of handling it, and just randomly commenting while using the vocabulary of a piece of redneck asparagus is just going to give us a good laugh more than anything. Get to the bottom of this unwarranted hatred, you may like yourself more in the end.

...and for my own personal Nugget of Wisdom to you, I say "One who insists upon seeking the negative attention of others is prone never getting laid."

Have a nice day :).

Posted by ladyx at 01:55 AM | Comments (2)

February 02, 2001

Reality TV Bites

Temptation Deck

Did you catch "Survivor" last night? See that hot gal on "Temptation Island?" Did ya? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions, I hate you and wish you dead. That's right, the language is strong and "hate" is a bad thing, but I do indeed feel it for you and your kind. May you be infertile and never procreate more evil beings like yourself. Why? Reality TV bites! [I know, the palm tree doesn't really go with this intro, but you can kiss my arse if you don't like it. I wanted to use a picture. Just think of it as a tree from "Temptation Island" or something]

Why is reality TV so popular these days? The first reality based TV program I can remember watching is MTVs "The Real World". I never really liked it much. More to the tune of today's shows was MTVs "Road Rules" where a bunch of people were thrown together with a challenge. In the beginning of "The Real World" there was really no point to their being together except to bug the hell out of each other. I think they eventually had to come up with a business idea or something. I don't really care. It's a really stupid show. They always had the stereotypical gay man, the masculine chick, the beauty queen, the buff macho redneck, the annoying homophobic...I wanted to shoot my TV. It was just basically, "lets put a bunch of people together that are total opposites and let them fight. Like a real life "Odd Couple". The American public is too stupid to know this isn't good TV." Well, a) the odd couple were funny, not degrading and insulting and b) The American public eventually canned the "Odd Couple". Learn from it.

Back then, only the MTV generation was into this kind of thing. That's perfectly acceptable. The MTV generation, at the time, was mainly pubescent males who peed on buildings and played the star spangled banner on their armpits. Today, Reality TV is a lot more mainstream. Everyone, even grandmas, watches "Survivor"...well, except me.

An even better question to ask is what losers want to go on these shows? If my boyfriend came up to me and said "Hey baby, you want to go on a show where we can go out with other attractive people and see if we're faithful to each other?" I'd kick him in the [censored] and find a boyfriend who didn't want to get it on with a island full of chicks. It is obvious that when you sign up for that show, one of you wants and plans to get some. As for Survivor, not even a million dollars could subject me to that torture. Seeing Rich naked would have been enough for me to vote myself off (or off myself) the first day. The people who sign up must not have any lives, common sense or shame.

As for you people who watch it, you're even worse. These losers are degrading themselves for a small chance at money (unlike real actors who are guaranteed a paycheck) and you're getting a kick out of watching them? At least the contestants have a chance at getting rich (no, not the ugly, homophobic naked Rich, rich money wise). You have nothing. You're wasting your life watching actual people who have nothing better to do than run around naked on an island and try to screw each other (quite literally on Temptation Island) for cash. You're probably just watching it because you either want to see one of them naked or you want to say "At least I'm not a loser like he is!". But face it, you're watching it. You are the ultimate loser. I stand by my comment that you don't deserve to breath my air. DIE.

It's because of you these shows are still on. Don't ever come to my house. I'll castrate/spay you.

Posted by vixen at 07:11 AM | Comments (1)

A Day In The Life...

Ok, so what happened to me yesterday. Well, I got about two hours of sleep, went to my 8am class which I have an exam in on Tuesday (hoorah), went to my 9:30 only to leave about halfway through so I could come home and take a nap. Came back, napped for a little over an hour, woke up to my roomie returning from her class, learned that I'm being stalked by some freaky guy with a low voice who won't leave phone messages (actually, I doubt I'm being stalked, fyi, I just don't know who it was), went to my 2pm class, came home, did my lab assignment that was due about three hours later when I got home, got stuck so I couldn't finish it anyway, got my dinner, got molested by another weird guy in the hallway after I held the door open for him, went to my lab at 6:30 where the instructor was tired and crabby, finished early due to technical difficulties (and the fact that the instructor just didn't care), came home at about 9pm, talked to some friends, talked to my boyfriend, fell asleep around 1:30 am, got up at 4am, and here I am :P. All in all, typical Thursday...

Posted by ladyx at 02:00 AM | Comments (0)

Damn Telemarketers

Well, this morning, I ended up being a little late getting to my 10am class, but just as I was about to walk out the door, low and behold, the phone rings. I answer it, and hear some guy with a low voice ask for me (only my first name, too which leads me to believe this guy knows me somehow. Usually, telemarketers can't pronounce my last name, so when they try I automatically know it is one). "This is," I replied. I waited for a few seconds, freaked out that this guy somehow knew who I was, but I didn't know him. Then, finally he spoke...only to talk about how I "won" some stupid friggin' credit card. WTF! This is the freak who called me yesterday morning and had me scared out of my mind because they wouldn't leave a message. He was a rude bastard, too. The whole conversation went something like this:

Dude - "Hi, is (Lady) there?"

Me - "This is..."

Stupid Dude - "Hi (Lady), this is Mark Imasphincter calling to inform you that you have won a new college bitemy@ss Visa wi..."

Me - "No thanks, not interested...I already have a Visa."

Moron - "But this one has an intere..."

Me - "That's ok, still not interested."

F*ckwit - "Free long distance..."

Me - "Nope, I don't need it."

@sshole - "Everyone will like you..."

Me - "I don't care, I like being hated."

*click* 'beep, beep, beep'

The jerk@ss actually hung up on me. He calls me at ten in the morning to offer me some stupid f*cking credit card when I already *have* a Visa, and then has the audacity to get pissed off and hang up on *me* when I refuse? I have to say, at least the telemarketers from American Express are more polite on the phone when you refuse. I actually want the bastard to call back again just so I can argue, and yell at him. That prick. Oh well, at least that mystery is solved, however it still doesn't answer the question of who called me last Friday and left "Hi is (Lady) there?" on my answering was probably just another guy from Visa, though (it wasn't this one...I remember the voice pretty well). Whatever. If anybody from Visa is reading this, quit bloody calling me. I already have a f*cking Visa, and if I get one more call from you guys, I'm going to bloody cancel it. After that, I'm going to call back and say "well, you guys wouldn't leave me alone, so you just lost a customer since you didn't take 'I already have a Visa' for an answer." I'm sick of this nonsense. Really now, do you honestly think that badgering somebody on the phone about getting a credit card is going to make them want to sign up? Get real. Maybe you can sweet-talk some little old ladies into taking on a second, third, or fourth Visa, but you haven't dealt with a b*tch of this magnitude before. For the last time, LEAVE ME ALONE!

Damn, that felt good...

Posted by ladyx at 01:58 AM | Comments (0)

February 01, 2001

Here, kitty kitty...

Well, I was flipping through channels tonight, and "Ripley's Believe it or Not" had a segment on a cat who's back two legs were paralyzed. The owners built it a wheeled harness. Seems normal, effective, and relatively cheap. You even see things such as this advertised in magazines such as Cat Fancy.
A guy on BattleBots two weeks ago, when the crazy route. His cat suffered paralysis of the hind legs also, but he built it a robotic box. Loud, and noisy, it even took the cat a while to figure out how to operate it. All you could see was the head. Talk about ruining the quality of life for the cat (no excercise), and the enjoyment you would get out of owning it for a pet.
Now, if something like that ever happened to my cat, I know which I'd chose.

Posted by bard at 09:55 PM | Comments (0)