Inside Delirium

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Anti-Bobby Flay Ring

Delirium (di lir` iem) n. a condition of the mind, as during insanity, in which one is restless and keeps thinking and talking wildly.
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May 19, 2001

Breakfast: Most important meal my @ss.

So, everybody wakes up. My mother starts making breakfast, consisting of sausage, eggs, and bacon.
I notice that the sausage she has gotten out is not meant for breakfast, but rather for a sandwhich. I tell her this, but she presses on. She talks to my uncle a lot (her brother) during preparation... and apparently lets seran wrap melt on to the bacon. Now, I'm no expert in the art of frying bacon or anything, but seran wrap? Why? Just fry the stuff up. Now, not only do we not have sausage for breakfast, the bacon is not safe to eat. On the bright side, the eggs are good. Right amount of cheese. Good consistancy. I'm thankful the eggs turned out well, else I'd have nothing to eat.

However, I am not thankful to any diety for producing this meal. I recognize that it was the bird that layed the egg that I am currently eating, not something that magically appeared, thanks to "God". This does not seem to matter to anybody else, and my mother starts praying. And this is where I make my fatal mistake...
I mumble something about "you pray, I don't". My reverand uncle seems like he's about to flip, but he restrains himself. He tells me "Let's hope this behavior doesn't come back to haunt you". Well, screw him. What does he care? My faith or lack thereof is none of your business, nor is yours any of mine.
Then he tells me "You should read..." and rattles off a list of 5-6 books dealing with my family's faith. I'm like "no thanks". Luckily, he left it at that.

Lesson learned: Never admit you don't believe in a reverand's faith; they'll try mercilessly to convert you.

Posted by bard at May 19, 2001 09:09 AM

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