Inside Delirium

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Anti-Bobby Flay Ring

Delirium (di lir` iem) n. a condition of the mind, as during insanity, in which one is restless and keeps thinking and talking wildly.
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May 18, 2001

Dating 101

Welcome class to Dating 101. The first lesson in dating is to never give your business card out to some chick you see in Wal-Mart and say "Let's have dinner" assuming that because your card says you're a lawyer she'll be impressed enough to date a loser who picks up chicks in Wal-Mart. She might just be psychotic enough to post your card on a blog and make you look like a real moron. Why do men choose to assault women who are minding their own business in public places with their swarmy, egotistical, dorky lines? That being said, since he may in fact be a lawyer and I don't know the legal precedent for the online ousting moronic 30-something pervs who freely distribute their business cards to unsuspecting women who look like 16 year old girls, I'll blurb out the important stuff. If I were a real biatch I'd post his number to, but alas, I'm too nice. However, I will leave enough so that if you know the guy, you will recognize his card and you can laugh at him to his face.

No, I'm not trying to say I'm pretty and point out that guys come onto me. I don't think I am. I think I just look easy :-p I'm trying to educate any man out there who reads this and thinks this is the way to get girls. It's pathetic, uncomfortable and makes me feel like crap the entire rest of the day. Thanks to all of you who do it.

"But" you say "I need more than the card to laugh at him! What did he do?". I think that the obvious of being losery enough to accost me in Wal-mart is plenty, but I'll give you the details. First of all, I was waiting by the checkout for my mom to come back from the vision center and he came charging down the aisle so I moved over and looked away. I assumed he was a maniac. I was right, of course. "You didn't have to move" he said "I wasn't going to hit you" and then I *knew* he was a maniac and looked away even farther at which time he placed his card in my hand. I looked at it, refusing to make eye contact with him and he said "lets have dinner sometime". I sneered up my nose and said "whatever".

Yeah, I do admit that was bitchy on my part. But, come on! I never know what to say when some scary guy comes up to me. It should have been obvious I wasn't interested in him and I do in fact look like a young girl. I get carded everywhere, people flip out when I tell them my real age "I thought you were 17!!" Why is a grown man hitting on me in a Wal-mart? It baffles me.

Why would ANY man come on to ANY girl in ANY store. Guys, we don't like it! At least most of us don't. Girls like my niece LOVE it. They feed on guys coming onto them (as a matter of fact, when she was in creative writing class she was very proud of a story she wrote where that was the plot. It revolved around some guy coming onto her in a supermarket. She was convinced she'd win a Oscar for the screenplay.) Normal girls don't like it. I'm not normal. Not only do I not like it, I detest it. As I mentioned, it makes me feel icky the rest of the day at least.

It makes me wonder if what I'm wearing is wrong. Do I look slutty? Do I look desperate for a date? Maybe I'm screaming "this chick probably never gets men, I can get her to sleep with me easily!" Maybe I'm screaming "woohoo, this has to be a popular ride. Lemme aboard". Maybe these men just need antipsychotics. It's probably a combination of more than one of the above. I was already in the middle of a low self-esteem day, honestly this is all I needed :-p

Posted by vixen at May 18, 2001 07:36 AM

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Posted by: LadyX at July 16, 2003 07:37 AM Posted by: Bard at July 16, 2003 07:37 AM