Inside Delirium

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Anti-Bobby Flay Ring

Delirium (di lir` iem) n. a condition of the mind, as during insanity, in which one is restless and keeps thinking and talking wildly.
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February 23, 2002

Hoorah for CT Scans :P

Well, I had my first, and hopefully last, CT scan on Friday...

The first thing the guy did was lie me on this table-like thing, and tell me to put my shoulders up to where the groove was. The guy then positioned my head, and put this strange strap with the chin cut out on me to hold my head in place. He kept repeating "don't move" which I tried not to do, but did anyway. Everything was so white in the room and it was very uncomfortable lying there not being allowed to move. The guy went in some shielded area and started moving the table, complete with me on it, into the big cyllinder which reminded me a lot of a carnival ride like the Gravitron. He started up the machine, and these red lights which circled around the inside of the cyllinder started glowing and lighting up each rectangle separately. I closed my eyes as I didn't want to see any more of the lights going around. The table I was on would move down periodically to take different pictures of my head, and finally it was done. Then the assistant guy said "she'll come in with the IV soon and we'll redo the photos. It's very important that you don't move just follow her with your eyes."

Wait a minute here...I didn't know anything about an IV. I was already freaking out before the nurse came in waving her needle. When she came in, I started trembling to the point where it was physically obvious. I could barely even talk, but I mustered out "I...h..hate...needles," between my teeth chattering. All she said was "well a lot of people don't like them." Bitch. She tied that horrible rubber strip around my arm, and told me to open and close my fist a few times. I did it, all the while dreading what was ahead. I guess the vein wasn't presenting itself because she slapped my arm a few times, and then it worked. She slid the needle into my arm and I said "ah" like I was about to scream quietly. Just then, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I tried fighting it back, but a couple of lone tears escaped and ran down my cheek. The nurse injected the IV and went through a list of things that would happen that were perfectly normal as the fluid entered my body. Suddenly I could feel my body getting hot from the inside out. It burned horribly, and I found it hard to breathe. Between my fright and the feeling I was getting from the IV fluid, my heart felt like it was going to burst inside my chest. She bent my elbow and let me rest my hand on my stomach while I got the last set of scans done.

I closed my eyes again and just waited for it to be over. When it was, I grew impatient and started shifting around on the table thing again. I was shaking and fighting back tears. I even said quietly "let me out of this." Finally, the nurse came by, took the IV out, and took the weird chin strap off of me. She helped me sit up and bandaged up my IV "war wound." I got up, grabbed my coat, and got the hell out of there as quickly as I could.

On the way out to my car, I began tearing up again. I felt horrible. I got to thinking about people who have things like this as part of a normal routine. I was too weak to handle the one time I've had it done...those people who have cancer and other diseases where these things are a necessity are extremely strong and I admire them. My experience really was nothing, and I admit that, but it definitely gave me a new outlook on those who deal with this constantly. I have a new respect for those people. I could never go through what they do at all.

Posted by ladyx at February 23, 2002 11:21 PM

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Posted by: Vix at July 16, 2003 11:23 PM Posted by: LadyX at July 16, 2003 11:23 PM Posted by: kb1234 at July 16, 2003 11:22 PM