Inside Delirium

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Anti-Bobby Flay Ring

Delirium (di lir` iem) n. a condition of the mind, as during insanity, in which one is restless and keeps thinking and talking wildly.
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January 22, 2001

Old Friends...or is that Fiends?

I know you don't believe me because I'm so wonderful and interesting now (and humble to, let's not forget humble) but in Jr. High I was an outcast. I was called names, beat up, threatened and generally picked on everyday of my life. One group of girls picked on me like no other. I always used to write poems about them suffering (nobody said I was sane). Yes, those were the good old days. I've always wondered what it would be like to meet one of them again today. Would I still harbor those old feelings? Would they recognize me. Well, a few weeks ago, I got my chance.

I didn't get to see the leader of the group. I hated her. I would mace her on site. However, I did get meet one of them while at the mall. We also went to High School together. I wasn't picked on so much in High School. I actually almost fit in at my High School so she didn't hunt me down like roadkill. We were civil to each other. However I never liked her. She probably doesn't even remember the way she treated me in Jr. High.

I saw her but I wasn't going to say anything. I figured she wouldn't recognize me (nobody ever does) but, try as I may to hide, here she comes bouncing up to me (she'd put on a little weight . . . shows her for calling me fatass for 2 years) but she looked much the same as she used to. She asked me what I was doing, I told her I was still going to school. She had already graduated and was working at a local hospital as a nurse. She told me about her kids, and her husband, etc. Here I am standing there with nothing good to say about myself. "Hey, you used to call me a loser, but guess what? I've been going to school for 5 years, still haven't graduated! I don't have a real job or anything. You were .... umm....okay, you were almost right, but I'm not FAT so there! You were wrong about something." I just feigned happiness for her and tried to get away as soon as I could. I can only hope that her husband is a philanderer and her kids end up putting her in a home. No, no, that's mean. I'm above that....yeah right.

Who is that made the rules of "karma"? That person is an idiot. Buddha is a dud. Karma obviously doesn't work. Not that my life is horrible. I'm actually quite proud of myself and happy with my life. I don't want kids nor do I want a husband and if I wanted to be a nurse I could have already graduated too. It's just that you expect God, or whoever, to even out the scale. These girls caused me so much agony yet they have paid nothing for it. I guess nobody said life was fair. Maybe my priest is right and I am Satan's spawn and that's why the scales aren't level.

Egh, next time I'll trip the biatch and walk on her fake hair.

Posted by vixen at January 22, 2001 12:25 PM

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